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How to Commit Mass Murder and Get Away With It (Part 1)

Posted by D3forU on April 3, 2014

How to Commit Mass Murder and Get Away With It

By David Rothscum

Killing stupid people is lots of fun, if you’re a sick psychopath that is. Unfortunately, there is such a thing as the justice system, and it tends to go after you if it notices you’re killing people. But don’t worry, there is a solution to this, and it’s very simple. Outsmart the justice system. I’ll show you how it can be done, and how you can get a high score in the dystopian cyberpunk nightmare that is modern Western civilization.

Step 1:


Sun & HandsStep 1 is to find something that is dangerous, but is not yet illegal. “How do I find something that is dangerous but not yet illegal?” You may wonder. Luckily for you, this is very simple. Independent scientists are constantly looking for things that are killing people, because they’re born with a conscience and would like to save some lives.


Look at their discoveries, and put your money (you do have money right?) into whatever it is that they’re worried about. Let’s say they discovered that microwave radiation is dangerous. Invest in microwave technology, and fund studies that pretend that everything is safe. This allows you to buy time before your technology is banned due to public outrage.


Step 2:


Step 2 is for the real geniuses amongst you. It’s one thing to just kill people. It’s another to get paid by the people you are killing. But if you’re really good, you can make your weapon mandatory, while getting paid to kill people.


Vaccines are one example. Another is fluorescent light bulbs. You come up with the idea to ban traditional light bulbs, thus forcing people to buy fluorescent light-bulbs. How do you get people to ban traditional light bulbs? That’s easy. Look for something that they all have an irrational fear of. A good example would be terrorism.


Tell them that traditional light bulbs can be used to build bombs. All right, nobody will buy that. Fine, tell them that you can stop global warming by banning traditional light bulbs.



Step 3:


I know what you’re thinking now. “David, how the hell do I kill people with fluorescent light bulbs? Do I force them to snort up the mercury?” Well, that would be one way. But my suggestion to you is to be patient.


A study from 1982 found that exposure to fluorescent lighting at work was associated with a 2.1 relative risk of malignant melanoma, aka deadly skin cancer. In those exposed more than 10 years, the risk becomes massive.


Note, this is 1982, when fluorescent lighting was still relatively rare. How many people have died from skin cancer since then whose deaths could have been prevented? Countless numbers without a doubt. What we do now is selling our light bulbs and waiting, while we get rich.

 Click HERE for Part 2


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